How to Choose a Ketubah Text: Orthodox, Conservative, Egalitarian, Interfaith & Custom Options
- 6 days ago
- 7 min read
Choosing the artwork for your ketubah is the fun part. Choosing the text can be a little more complicated.
There isn’t one universal ketubah text. There are traditional halakhic texts, Conservative texts, egalitarian covenants, Reform texts, interfaith options, Secular Humanistic texts and entirely custom ones. They don’t all do exactly the same thing.
I usually encourage couples to start with a few questions: Who are you? What are your Jewish and cultural backgrounds? What are your identities and values? What role does halakhah play in your lives? Do you want your ketubah to function primarily as a Jewish legal document, a covenant of mutual commitments, a set of shared vows—or some combination? And, importantly, what does your officiant require?
The goal is to find the text that fits the marriage you’re actually creating.
And you don’t have to figure this out alone. I’m always happy to guide couples through the options and help make sure the text works for your identities, values, vibes, backgrounds and observance level, as well as your officiant’s requirements. If you’re working with an officiant, I always recommend confirming your text with them before we finalize the ketubah.
Traditional / Orthodox Ketubah
The traditional ketubah is written in Aramaic and comes from the Jewish legal framework of marriage. It establishes the husband’s obligations to his wife, including financial and material responsibilities during the marriage and in the event that the marriage ends.
This is generally the appropriate choice for a Jewish heterosexual couple who wants their marriage to operate within traditional halakhic categories, particularly if they are being married by an Orthodox officiant. You do not have to identify as Orthodox to choose it. For some couples, the appeal is precisely that this is an inherited Jewish legal form, recognizable across Jewish denominational lines.
There isn’t only one Orthodox nusach, or version. RCA, Israeli Rabbanut, Sephardi, Chabad, Yemenite and other communal traditions have variations while sharing the same basic legal architecture. Your officiant can tell you which version they require.
Because this is a legal document, there is less freedom to rewrite the substance than with contemporary ketubah texts. But that doesn’t mean there is no room for personalization. Depending on your officiant, couples may be able to include both parents’ names rather than only fathers’ names, use kallah rather than older terminology such as betulta, choose a personal title or pasuk, or add blessings around the legal text.
For couples who want the traditional halakhic document but also want language that sounds more personally like them, I often recommend letting different documents do different jobs. You can sign the traditional ketubah and also exchange personal vows or create an additional English covenant or commitment text.
In fact, part of the meaning of a traditional ketubah can come precisely from not having authored it yourself. You are choosing to enter marriage through an inherited ritual and legal language that generations of Jewish couples have used before you. Personalization isn’t the only way an object becomes personal; sometimes choosing inheritance is meaningful too.
For couples using a traditional Orthodox ketubah, I also recommend looking into a halakhic prenup, a separate agreement designed to help prevent future get refusal and agunah situations.
For couples interested in a two-ring ceremony within an Orthodox framework, Rabbi Dov Linzer has also developed a halakhic approach that creates space for the bride to give the groom a ring without attempting to create reciprocal kiddushin. This is a more specialized option and something to discuss directly with your officiant.
Conservative / Masorti Ketubahs
There are several Conservative/Masorti approaches to the ketubah, so if your rabbi tells you they require a “Conservative ketubah,” it’s worth asking which text they mean.
Traditional Ketubah + Lieberman Clause
One option preserves the traditional Aramaic ketubah structure while adding the Lieberman Clause, developed within the Conservative movement to address the possibility of get refusal.
The clause creates an additional commitment around the process of Jewish divorce and the authority of the appropriate Conservative beit din. It is an example of the Conservative movement’s broader approach to working within Jewish legal tradition while developing mechanisms to address contemporary legal and ethical concerns.
For couples who want something very close to the traditional ketubah framework but are marrying within a Conservative/Masorti context, this may be the text their officiant requests.
Gordon Tucker Egalitarian Ketubah
The Gordon Tucker text is substantively different, and many Conservative rabbis specifically request it.
Rather than simply adding a clause to the traditional ketubah, Rabbi Gordon Tucker’s text reworks the document around mutuality. Both partners participate in declarations of kiddushin and undertake obligations toward one another: to honor, support and nurture each other and to build a Jewish home together.
This can be a beautiful option for couples who want a ketubah that remains deeply rooted in Jewish legal and ritual language while expressing marriage in more explicitly egalitarian terms.
The Conservative movement has also developed covenant-based approaches and documents for marriages that do not fit the traditional gendered structure of kiddushin. Your Conservative/Masorti officiant can help determine which approved framework they use.
A Note About Witnesses
Depending on the text and your officiant’s requirements, a ketubah may require two halakhically qualified witnesses, or edim.
In Conservative practice I’ve worked with, including through Beth Tzedec and Rabbi Baruch Frydman-Kohl, couples have also used additional yedidot alongside the required edim. This can create room for additional beloved people to sign while preserving the witness structure required by the officiant.
Brit Ahuvim / Lovers’ Covenant
Brit Ahuvim, meaning Lovers’ Covenant, was developed by Jewish feminist theologian Rachel Adler and published in her 1998 book Engendering Judaism.
Adler didn’t simply try to rewrite traditional kiddushin with more egalitarian language. She proposed a different Jewish legal model for partnership.
Traditional kiddushin is structurally gendered. Adler instead drew from the Jewish legal category of shutafut, or partnership, to imagine two people jointly creating a covenant together. The resulting document is a shtar brit—a covenant agreement—with mutual obligations between the partners.
I recommend considering Brit Ahuvim for two Jewish partners—queer or straight, cis, trans or nonbinary—who want a fully mutual Jewish marriage covenant and a document with real contractual structure, while not organizing their marriage around the traditional gendered architecture of kiddushin.
It is important to distinguish this from simply writing progressive vows. Brit Ahuvim is egalitarian, but it is also deliberately serious about Jewish text and legal structure. Adler draws from biblical covenant and rabbinic categories to articulate obligations around partnership, care, exclusivity, Jewish life and community.
I wouldn’t describe it simply as a “halakhic ketubah,” because it does not create traditional kiddushin and different Jewish communities understand its legal status differently. I would describe it as a marriage covenant constructed seriously from within Jewish legal and textual tradition.
Commitment of Care
The Commitment of Care is a text I developed through my own work with couples, drawing from progressive, Reform and interfaith ketubah traditions.
I wanted a text with more space to articulate what partnership actually asks of us: how we care for one another, support one another, build a home and move through life together.
Unlike a traditional ketubah or Brit Ahuvim, it isn’t trying to establish a particular structure within Jewish marriage law. It is more values- and commitment-based—almost like shared vows made into a ketubah.
And it is intentionally adaptable.
Couples can revise sentences, add commitments and work with me to make sure the language reflects their actual relationship and identities. It can work for Jewish or interfaith couples, queer or straight couples, and cis, trans and nonbinary partners.
Witnesses can also reflect the couple’s community and ritual choices, with whatever number and configuration makes sense in consultation with their officiant.
For couples who want a ketubah that feels recognizably Jewish but whose primary concern is articulating how they intend to care for one another, this is often the text I recommend.
Reform Ketubah Texts
I also offer standard texts used within Reform communities in Canada and the United States.
These tend to be shorter, egalitarian texts that emphasize contemporary Jewish values and commitments. They’re particularly useful when a Reform officiant or congregation has a text they already use and recognize.
If your rabbi has asked you to use a particular Reform ketubah, send it along. I can work directly from the text your officiant requires.
Secular Humanistic Ketubah Texts
For couples marrying within Secular Humanistic Jewish communities, I can similarly work with texts used and approved by their officiants and congregations.
These provide another way of grounding the ketubah in Jewish identity and community while using language that reflects a secular or humanistic understanding of marriage.
Custom Ketubah Texts
Sometimes none of the existing options quite fits.
Couples are always welcome to bring a text required by their officiant, bring something they’ve already written, adapt one of my existing texts, or create something entirely custom.
For custom texts, I can work with a translator to create the corresponding Hebrew so that the finished ketubah can hold both the couple’s own language and its Hebrew expression.
This can be especially beautiful for couples whose relationships hold multiple cultures, religious backgrounds or languages—but custom isn’t only for interfaith couples. Sometimes two Jewish people simply know exactly what they want to promise one another.
Hebrew, Aramaic, English—or All Three?
The text you choose and the language you choose are related, but they aren’t necessarily the same decision.
Depending on the text, a ketubah can be written in Aramaic, Hebrew, English or a combination.
Some couples want the English on the ketubah to be a direct translation so that they can understand every word of the document hanging in their home. Others use a traditional Aramaic or Hebrew text and add a more personal English covenant alongside it. And some prefer to leave the traditional text untranslated, allowing it to function both literally and symbolically as an inherited Jewish document.
Ketubahs can also hold the multiple languages of a family. I’ve worked with couples incorporating Gujarati, Spanish, Greek, Japanese and other languages alongside Hebrew and English. Sometimes it’s a complete section of text; sometimes it’s a title, a name or a few meaningful words.
There isn’t one correct amount of language to put on a ketubah. The question is what you want the document to hold.
So, Which Ketubah Text Is Right for You?
Start with your identities and backgrounds, your relationship to Jewish law and tradition, and what your officiant requires. From there, think about what you want the ketubah itself to do: function as a traditional Jewish legal document, articulate a mutual covenant, express the values and commitments of your relationship, or hold some combination of these.
The goal is to understand what each text is doing and choose intentionally—a document that reflects the people you are and the commitments you’re making.
And if you’re not sure, I’m always happy to help you and your officiant find the right text.
Not sure which text is right for you? I’m happy to help you and your officiant choose the right ketubah text.
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